Zombie Movie Review (28) of the Week: Simon Pegg Week: Day 2: Shaun of the Dead

“How’s that for a slice of fried-gold?”

Shaun of the Dead. To put it simply, this is a fecking masterpiece! There are those out there that think Pegg made this film to make fun of Romero movies. Quite the contrary. I admit that it is a parody and a satire but to paraphrase the great Mel Brooks “to truly parody something you must love it” And Simon Pegg loves George Romero and especially loves Dawn of the Dead (1978). He even has several chapters in his book Nerd Do Well mostly about zombies and Romero.

Shaun of the Dead is about a slacker and his companions trying to survive a zombie infested London. Shaun is for all intents and purposes essentially the same character as Tim from Spaced. In fact, he could have easily written the movie as part of the show with all the same character. The film is produced, directed, and for the most part, stars, the same people who produced, directed, and starred in Spaced. Shaun=Tim, Ed=Mike, Yvonne=Daisy, Pete=Dwayne. Peter Serafinowicz is just great at playing dicks. His words, not mine, but I have to agree with him. He does a great job as Dwayne and Pete.

Shaun is not having the greatest of days. His girlfriend of five years as just left him, his best friend only holds him back and is usually the cause of all Shaun’s problems, and he is stuck at a dead-end job.

The film uses a clever blend of irony, foreshadowing, and puns to give the film a nice circular feel and comedy about it. For example, the night before the shit really hits the fan, Shaun writes down all the things he needs to do the next day which are to go visit his mom, get his girlfriend (Liz) back, and sort out his life. Funny enough, because of the zombies, he accomplishes all these things; mostly protect the ones he cares about. Also part of this blend relies heavily on dialogue; lines certain characters said to another are used in reverse later in several situations.

Shaun is not actually a hero. Well, he is and he is not. He would have been more successful if Ed did not keep fecking up everything, and really most of the causes of death can be related back to some of Ed’s earlier selfish actions. Even Pegg says it in his book, that Shaun is not a hero per se, just a guy, trying to do the best he can with what he has and trying to protect the ones he loves. He is not the smartest guy, and he is certainly not the strongest or trained in any field of survival of combat and yes, by this description, Shaun is not a Hollywood action or horror hero. However, to my mind, all the qualities make him a true hero because even though by all rights he could have been killed at any time, he tried his hardest and did some very brave things.

Shaun of the Dead also has a really nice look to it. Wright is great with directing. The film uses quick montages as in close up flashes of related things such as getting ready in the morning, giving it an action movie feel.

Despite it being primarily a comedy, the movie is still a horror film. Now most people will not be ‘horrified’ as such by the film but (!SPOILER!) likable characters do die and the zombies are really fecking realistic esp. compared to other zombie films that came out around the same time. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I prefer the look of the Shaun of the Dead zombies to the look of the zombies in Romero’s Land of the Dead, and Pegg’s zombies are based right off Romero zombies.

This is why this film is more of homage to Romero rather than an insult. This is essentially Pegg’s love letter to Romero. The zombies are only ever as fast as Bill Hinzman (the cemetery zombie) is in the original Night of the Living Dead, which is also the rule that The Walking Dead uses. The make-up in Shaun is fecking fantastic! These are some of the best zombies I have ever seen next to The Walking Dead zombies.

The film also references Romero’s films constantly, taking elements from Night, Dawn, Day, and the 90’ remake of N.o.t.L.D. The music that opens the film before the camera cuts to the pub is from the scene in Dawn of the Dead where they land the helicopter at the airfield. Shaun’s mother is named Barbra and when Shaun and Ed call her to tell her they are on their way and she argues with them, Ed yells into the phone “We’re coming to get you Barbra” referencing that famous line from Night of the Living Dead (1968). The music that plays during Shaun’s rescue-run-through is the fighting music from Dawn of the Dead. Later when Shaun and Ed start throwing stuff at the zombies in their yard, the end credits music from Night of the Living Dead (1990) plays in the background. Then towards the end climax of the film when they all are acting like zombies, Shaun acts like ‘Bub’ from Day of the Dead, which is in fact his favorite zombie ever. Finally, at the end of the film when Shaun is flipping thru the channels and gets to the game show about zombies trying to grab meat, the game music is mimicking the Gonk music that is from Dawn of the Dead.

There is also a reference to Spaced when they are running from the apartment; the music playing was used several times in Spaced. Of course, that could just be because they already had the rights to the music.

When Pegg was growing up he loved movies, and he still does. When he first saw Dawn of the Dead, he fell in love with it. It was the European cut version so there was not much gore but he would later see the U.S version as well as Romero’s other films.

Romero clearly appreciates the film that Pegg and Wright made. Although he was not aware that they might cameo in Land of the Dead, when asked at a press conference if he was considering it he just said something like “sure, I guess, why not?” Which goes to the laid back nature of Romero who is always open to suggestion for his films—he loves input. So, the nest time you watch Land of the Dead look out for Pegg and Wright. They are the zombies a person can get their picture taken with and Pegg got to use the mold that made Bub’s mask which made him ecstatic. In addition, Romero had Pegg do a voice cameo in my personal favorite of his zombie films, Diary of the Dead; listen closely to all the various newscasters throughout the film and you will spot him.

The Winchester pub is actually based off the tavern Pegg used to always hang out at and formed a relationship with the owners whose names were John and Bernie which are the names for the characters who own the Winchester. Shaun also mentions the pubs weekly quiz in the film, which is also taken from the real-life pub

Coldplay has a cameo in the movie as the band that is working with “Zomb-Aid” and in fact, Pegg did work with Coldplay for a little while.

Finally, there is a great message in the film. The film goes back to one of Romero’s old messages about how we are essentially zombies anyway. Watch the beginning of the film and look at all the people you see. They all end up as zombies you see later on but it is filmed in a way that they already look or act like zombies. The famous line from the 90’ remake of N.o.t.L.D “they’re us and we’re them” or the whole monologue in Dawn about how people are drawn to a mall. So, this horror-comedy comes with a philosophical message which makes it even more awesome

I give Shaun of the Dead 5 out of 5 stars. This movie turned me on to Pegg and kick-started my journey into zombie obsession.

Zombie Movie Review (27) of the Week: Aaah! Zombies! (aka Wasting Away)

“Look at me! Look at the crazy zombie!”

I absolutely love this film. I think it is brilliant, I think it is creative, and I think it is artistic. This movie has two names, Aaah! Zombies! and Wasting Away. To my knowledge, the real name is the first one, which is what it is called on my DVD copy as well as the films official website. However, imdb has it listed as Wasting Away. This title does not even make any sense.

Anyway, the film is so great because it is from the zombie’s perspective—that is right. This has never really been done before and it is quite a creative concept.

The movie starts out with a government conspiracy to cover up a chemical that was intended to turn soldiers into super soldiers. However, it instead kills them and then brings them back as zombies. One soldier tries to stop the cover up and in doing so is hit by the truck carrying the shit and one of the barrels falls off and rolls next to a container of soft-serve mix outside of a bowling alley which is where are lead characters, Mike, Vanessa, Tim, and Cindy, are hanging out.

Tim works at the bowling alley and is letting his friends hang with him before it opens for league night. Mike is hungry and decides to mix soft-serve ice cream with beer from one of the kegs also near the chemical drum. The ice cream ends up green but does not deter our young friends from eating it quite quickly, dying, and coming back.

The film creatively shows us the world from the zombie’s perspective in color while the rest of the world’s perspective is shot in black and white giving the message that both groups are not seeing the full picture, the world of the living, especially.

The film comes up with several other creative concepts such as drunks being able to understand zombies, and the rest of the world appearing to move quickly because zombies are so slow physically and mentally. The movie does pay tribute to good old Romero by having slow zombies but also by mentioning Romero’s zombie films and agreeing with most of the world, including Romero himself, that the worst of his zombie flicks is Land of the Dead.

Aaah! Zombies! is almost a pure comedy but towards the end gets dramatic and serious which adds depth to the film and it really is touching. After this, it gets right back into being a comedy again and the mood transitions are flawless in my opinion.

Because the film, takes new stance on an old concept, by showing it to use through different eyes, (even if this perspective only applies to this form of zombie) it has some existential undertones.

The acting is great despite the film going for a sort of b-movie feel. I already mentioned how wonderful the cinematography is. Overall, the film is flawless and is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I know this review is short but I really did not want to give anything away—it is just a masterpiece you have to see for yourself. My roommate could not stop laughing when I showed him this flick.

Final thoughts: this film to my mind is perfect, it was successful in everything it sought out to achieve and it was executed beautifully. If you love zombies, you are sure to love this movie. It is sold at FYE, which is where I picked it up, I would not be surprised if Newbury Comics sold it, and of course, there is always good old Amazon. This movie gets a 5 out of 5 unrelated to Romero ratings.

If you are new to the sight, please check out my Zombie Movie Reviews page for more…well…zombie movie reviews.

As always, comments are always appreciated.

Zombie Movie Review (26) of the Week: Day of the Dead 2008

I am finally getting around to doing Day of the Dead 2008. Sorry it took me slow long, it is just with the keyboard breaking, the holidays, and the fact that this movie is worse than Dawn of the Dead 2004 (that is right, I have decided which is worse), that I have been putting it off.

I will run through the movie quickly so that I can get to the critiquing and let me tell you there are so many problems I have with this movie. I have seen zombie movies that are worse but with fewer problems than this.

The movie, like the Dawn of the Dead remake is a standalone non-sequel unlike the original. It also starts pre-zombie apocalypse unlike the original. The film takes place in a small town in Colorado and has little related to the original other than a few things. One of the main characters is named Sarah she in the military except in this one she looks like she is my age and is not a scientist. The movie stars out with her brother, his girlfriend, and another couple making out in the upper level of an abandoned Nike factory where it appears that is the usual place the teens go to make out. Towards the end of the movie, it turns out that underneath that is a secret military lab not much unlike the Hive from the first Resident Evil film except this time it is the government and not an evil corporation behind it. The military is in town to quarantine after a strange flu epidemic sweeps the place causing over half the population to get sick including Sarah’s mom. Sarah, along with her brother and his girlfriend, head to the hospital with mom. Also along for the ride is a private in transportation who goes by the name “Bud”, not Bub, but Bud, who divulges that he is a vegetarian.

They head to the hospital, which quickly becomes a slaughterhouse. There, Sarah’s Captain, Rhodes, is killed. This is also, where Sarah meets Dr. Logan. They end up getting split up because the brother and girlfriend realize they should leave way before this idea dawns on anyone else. They end up at the radio studio where one of the few good actors the movie has, plays the DJ. Sarah and the rest make it to the radio studio but only after Bud gets bit and turns into a zombie.

They all try to get out of town by heading down the old fire road that goes by the area that the old factory is located which they end up having to make a run for once a zombie causes them to crash. They find the secret lab where they also find Dr. Logan who explains that the military was trying to create a virus that could paralyze enemy soldiers for a few hours so that rather than kill them, they could be easily detained. Logan dies and they kill all the zombies with old missile ignition tanks.

What does this version have in common with the good version?

There is an underground facility that has a lab and has a missile silo at the back, the hero is called Sarah, there is a friendly zombie named “Bud”, there is a Captain Rhodes, there is a Dr. Logan, and there are zombies.

However, Rhodes is not an asshole in this, he is instead kick-ass, and instead of Rhodes as the antagonist, Dr. Logan is the jerk. It is as if their roles were reversed. The zombie that does not try to eat people’s name is wrong and the reason the film gives for him not eating people is that while he was alive he was a vegetarian.

I hate these zombies for several reasons: they are fast but that is not my biggest problem. They are also smart and retain something of what they were. This seems like it should make them more scary but it does not. It ruins the concept of zombies and gives credence to those people who want to keep them alive and locked up because there is still part of them there—if you have seen many zombie movies, you know the people I am talking about. These zombies run, leap, plan, drive cars, shoot guns, etc, but they do not act intelligent like the zombies in the Return of the Living Dead series, at least that made sense in context. These zombies seem more like the aliens from the Predator series without the gear and technology. The makeup and affects for the zombies are also stupid and bad. As soon as a person dies they turn into a zombie—that I am ok with—however, also when this happens, they immediately begin to necrotize (rot) meaning the recently deceased look as if they have been dead for months. This does not make any sense but what makes even less sense is that they cannot only still run, but are more intelligent than typical Romero zombies are. If they rot so quickly then logically this includes their muscles and their brains, which means no thinking and no running.

I mentioned the movie copying stuff from Resident Evil and another example of this is the film’s background music—it sounds like a cheap knock off of the HIM music done in RE.

The sound affects in this are shoddy as well, the guns sound like toys and when someone gets a nosebleed, the affect sound like the typical blood sounds of someone whose throat has been sliced. It does not sound realistic.

Speaking of realistic, the acting in this movie is not the worst I have ever seen and in truth, some of the actors are good. However, mostly the acting is subpar and some of the things they say and how they react to certain things are just very unrealistic.

Also, half the people that get eaten appear not to come back to life but the movie actually says that anyone bit, even immune people, will become infected. Um…..continuity seems to be on vacation.

The camera and editing are shitty also. Sometimes I felt sick; the camera was more unorthodox than found footage films!

There are also some “day for night” shots, which take even more points away from the movie.

Ok, so the movie does have some suspense going for it—I mean there were times where I felt emotionally invested in whether someone died or not. However, in general the film sucks. The affects suck, the acting is not great for the most part, the cinematography sucks, the sounds suck, the zombies suck and I feel like the creators of this movie did not even watch the original nut just looked at its imdb page and read the summary and the list of characters but nothing else. This all\could possibly be explained by the director, Steve Miner, who is notorious for pumping out bad horror and making, what are seen by most, as the worst movies in a horror movie series like Halloween and Friday the 13^th. However, this film can still be entertaining even though it is bad which is exactly how I feel about it. Therefore, in general I give this film a 1.75 out of 5 purely because it can be fun to watch.

Zombie Movie Review (25) of the Week: Christmas Edition: Silent Night, Zombie Night

So I just watched the first ever Christmas zombie movie and actually it was not that bad. Silent Night, Zombie Night takes place the week before Christmas up to Christmas day. I know I said that the next review I did would be the Day of the Dead remake and that I was going to write that over a week ago but in case you do not read other sections of my blog, my keyboard is on the fritz and it is a bitch to type shit now. My spacebar, b, n, and question mark keys all do not work anymore. The only reason I cab type at all now is thanks to Microsoft Word autocorrect\and that is why I have not been blogging as much recently. I will get back to Day of the Dead the remake but I literally just watched Silent Night, Zombie Night like five minutes ago and since I also wanted to start review movies other than zombie movies and it being December and all, I figured I would start with Christmas movies. I would have done Fantastic Mr. Fox for Thanksgiving but again, this keyboard problem really has me slacking.

Silent Night, Zombie Night follows two cops and the wife of one of them who also has feelings for the other cop who is best friends with the first cop. Yep. This movie actually has a plot, which did surprise me since most of these crappy zombie flicks rarely have a plot. I say crappy but is it really?

It is clearly a low budget independent zombie film but it is not an amateur one and those are usually the worst. Like I said this movie has a plot so it get points right off for that. It is also creative has decent acting, and most of the effects do not suck except for the CGI, which does not even show up until an hour into the movie. Also, the sound effects are pretty fake but those are really my only complaints. This is one of the best bad zombie movies I have ever seen. In addition, the movie (as in the director, writer, producer, and actors) is well aware that this is not a serious film and therefore does not need to be taken seriously. It knows it is going to be crappy and for this insight alone, makes it not the terrible movie it could have been if it thought, it was serious or great. They clearly understood the consequences of a low budget film and therefore made sure to have fun with it. That being said, this is not a comedy or campy. It has some comedic moments but overall the movie is going for drama—and it is surprisingly dramatic for a film of this caliber—I actually became emotionally invested in the characters at certain moments.

Also, the film was creative in playing with the concepts of zombies. There are two types of zombies in Silent Night, Zombie Night. The first type we see are the shitty fast zombies but I don’t really have a problem with them in this. First off, the movie explains why they are fast sort of and this movie has no allusions of comparing or competing with Romero movies. These fast type zombies don’t have super speed like they are PCP heads like in the Dawn of the Dead remake but they are relatively quick. They are also semi-intelligent and will actually eat the other slower zombies making these zombies almost cannibals. The second type of zombies is the slow kind. These zombies are actually slower, dumber, and blinder than the typical Romero zombie and pose no real threat. I should also mention that the zombies in this film are caused by a virus.

The movie threw me a couple of times—I was unsure of whether this would be a good or bad movie because at times it could have gone either way but in the end it was not that bad. It is slightly entertaining, has some fun moments and dramatic moments, an actual plot, and it knows it is a cheap movie—it is not trying to be anything that it is not.

Would I recommend it? Well, if you are bored, like zombies, it is around Christmas, and you are not in the mood for the cheery or depressing typical Christmas flicks then, yeah, I suggest it. I mean it is watchable. It has no real redeeming value so if I rate it over all including its fun potential; I give it 2.53 out of 5 stars.

Also, Creepy Puppet Project has a video with a song called Silent Night, Zombie Night (the video, however is called Frosty Zombies). It is unrelated to the movie but I thought you all might enjoy it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo8xEnu1DYs

Zombie Movie Review (24) of the Day: Dawn of the Dead 2004

“It’s nice to see that you’ve all bonded through this disaster”

Dawn of the Dead 2004—I really do not like this movie. I know that maybe I am a bit biased by growing up with films that are all against the type of zombies in this film. The order of the first few zombie films I saw is as follows: Night of the Living Dead, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Shaun of the Dead, Undead, Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, and then Dawn of the Dead 2004.

My opinion on Running Zombies:

The zombies in this movie are fast. I do not just mean they can jog or sprint, they are like marathon runner fast! They can also fight better than they could when they were alive because they seem more agile. Watch the trailer and see how the little girl jumps to her feet like a tribal hunter. In truth, these zombies seem more like the infected from 28 Days Later, which are not zombies. The only different is the things in Dawn 04 are actually dead. There is only one time a zombie can be really fast and by really fast I mean catch an out-of-shape overweight person: after rigor mortis has loosened and before decay sets in. no zombie should ever be faster than Bill Hinzman in Night of the Living Dead 1968. Romero himself protested against the movie. I am not sure how Universal Studios got the rights. Maybe Romero sold them though that does not seem like something he would do. If anyone out there knows how Universal was able to make this movie please let me know and give me your sources, thank you. Romero has said repeatedly that dead things do not run. Just look at the old mummy and zombie movies pre-Romero. Now I can understand somewhat how these zombies can run: they come back like less than a minute after they die so rigor does not have a chance to set in, and infect exercising the muscles, like running, would in fact stave off atrophy to an extent but not like this. Even if they physically could run, I am not sure they would have the mental functions to run. Speaking of them coming back so quickly I have a huge problem with this. True, this happens in 28 Days Later as well but my problem with it there is less. An infection should not be able to kill you that quick and then bring you back to life as a zombie right after. I know it is a sci-fi movie but I like movies that are at least somewhat convincing so I like movies where at least most of the laws of physics apply—unless there is magic involved. I do not have a problem with all running zombies, for example the few that do run in Resident Evil, I am ok with. I explained in my RE review that the T-virus reanimates dead cells and mutates DNS, therefore it makes sense that dead things could run if their cells don’t rot as much and if their biology is changed. Dawn of the Dead 2004 never explains why they run. Another problem Romero and Romero fans had with it was that since they ran we barely saw any detail in the zombies. No close ups or lingering shots. The director, Zack Snyder explained that he didn’t want to linger on the faces because he felt that it made the zombies seem more human—like it gave back a bit of their humanity. First of all, they are fucking dead and gross looking. How could someone look at that and think, “That’s someone I want to invite to dinner”. Secondly, this misses the point of zombies. Sure, on the surface fast zombies theoretically seem scarier because it only takes one but the point is there is never one and then they eat you slowly most times while you are still alive. I’m about to repeat myself because I am going to do a blog defending zombies as scary but, the reason they are scary is that they are/were us. Think about it: your close loved ones die—then they wake up—then they eat you slowly. That is fucking terrifying, disturbing, and sad. Furthermore, the zombies in zombie movies are almost never the true enemies or villains. They are hungry animals who do not know any better, they are not evil, cruel, or sinister. You are supposed to feel bad for the zombies and at the same time feel terror. Walking Dead season 1 even has a scene about this, reminding the characters that these were once people like you or me; had jobs, lives, families, worries, etc.

Now that I have that out of my system on to the review!

Aside from the fact I hate these zombies, there are other flaws in this movie. The title Dawn of the Dead is really misleading. The only similarities between the movies is that there is a mall, some trucks that say BP on them (not British Petroleum but some trucking company), a pregnant woman, and cameos from a few of the original actors. The great Tom Savini (which I do not know why he was in this, I guess for the fun of it) plays the sheriff that tells people to shoot the zombies in the head. Ken Foree (Peter) plays an entirely different role as a TV evangelist who quotes his own line from the original: “When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead shall walk the earth”. The Last person is Scott Reiniger (Roger) who plays a General telling people to stay indoors. There is also a reference to Gaylen Ross who played Fran. Other than that, there is nothing about the two films that are related…well there is still a gun shop but this time it is across the street rather than in the mall.

The plot also lost any reference to capitalism or consumerism and focuses only on survival with no underlying messages.

I guess I should give some sort of a summary. The film starts out with the main girl who is not named Fran, as a nurse who is getting home from a long shift after people keep pouring in with bites. Now, I already told you that people bitten come back to life in less than five minutes, some only take seconds, so I am wondering why no one at the hospital noticed this. When she gets home the neighbors kid who shows off to Anna (the nurse) that she can roller-skate backwards and Anna tells her to be safe...foreshadowing?

Yep. The next morning the girl come in and rather than like a zombie that has no real predator instincts like going for the jugular so your prey cannot escape, goes right for the jugular of Anna’s husband. He dies then attacks her, she gets in her car, drives away, abandons her car, meets up with a black cop which is sort of symbolic of Peter is a way…I guess, and a couple who is pregnant. They all make it to the Crossroads Mall. Get it? Crossroads, you know, like the place where Satan meets people. It turns out the head of mall security is like a Rhodes character from Day of the Dead sort of except this guy isn’t as crazy, he is just a bit of a jerk. Then a bunch more people show up and they all talk about leaving. They talk to a guy across the street who owns the gun shop and he is running out of food. They find a dog in the parking garage and decide to use him to send food over because zombies do not chase the dog. WHY!?   In the original trilogy, we see zombies eating bugs and in the Night of the Living Dead remake, a zombie eats a mouse. Whatever, zombies end up getting in and kill the gun shop guy. There are a few comedic moments that I think symbolize that zombies were people but then that contradicts the director’s statement so...I do not know. They armor up some vans to escape. Some people die graphically actually and we find out Steve is as big a prick we always knew him to be. No not Steven as in Fran’s fiancé but Steve the asshole. They make it to shore to get a boat to an island, which is kind of a reference to the original Dawn when the other group of cops asks Roger where they are headed; the cop says his group is heading for an island. Turns out the islands are also infested with zombies and everyone you thought lived dies during the end credit sequence.

So what do I think of this movie? Well you know my person feelings on it—I’m fairly certain I made those clear. However, it isn’t that bad of a film, I’m just a loyal Romero-ian. The movie did have a huge budget and it is a very pretty film, I mean it looks like and the effects are well done. Is it watchable? I’ll give it this much: it’s certainly better than Night of the Living Dead 3D. It is a fun film overall and despite it being an atrocity to Romero, it is not that bad. I give it  2 ¼ out of 5 stars.

Zombie Movie Review (23) of the Day: Night of the Living Dead 3D

Today I start the reviews of the remakes of the original Romero zombie trilogy. This includes Dawn of the Dead 2004, Night of the Living Dead: 3D 2006, and Day of the Dead 2008. These films are not a reboot of the series, as they are not even related to one another as sequels or even happening in the same universe. However, I am still going to do them in the order of the original trilogy rather than chronologically. So today’s review it on Night of the Living Dead 3D.

Night of the Living Dead 3D is called 3D for two reasons, one, it was originally shot in 3D, and two, as a pun for being the third Night of the Living Dead film. There is a lot I do not like about this film I do not like. I think it is meant to be a parody so it is trying to be a B-movie on purpose, which usually causes a movie to fail as a cult classic. Either it will go mainstream like Grindhouse: Planet Terror/Death Proof or it is forgotten. I am almost certain that this movie is not meant to be taken seriously but I am not going to go easy on it nonetheless. What does this mean? Well you all finally get to see my Cinema Snob impression. That’s right. I’m going to rip this movie apart. However, like Brad Jones (aka Cinema Snob) I do not necessarily hate the movie as much as I seem to in the review. This movie, is watchable—trust me, there are zombie movies out there that are not watchable at all that get 0 out of 5 star ratings. For the most part though, I really do not like this movie.

The movie starts out similarly enough; actually…it starts out so much like the original that the opening credits sequence is the exact same one from the 1968 version! Wait, the camera zooms out…ok, so a guy in the movie is watching the original. Well that breaks the rule that you never reference a better movie than your own in your movie. I am also thinking two things about what I just saw: this movie either loves the original so wants us to know that this movie is very different and that all the characters are different, or, this movie is making a bad fucking joke. I would assume that since this movie’s universe knows about zombies, and Romero and that the characters in this movie will be different right? No such luck, they all have the same names. There are a few characters that were not in the other films but everyone else has the same names and even the same relationships to each other. That is not funny, movie!

But seriously, the movie from there runs like the other Night of the Living Dead films. Johnny and Barb (not Barbra, but Barb) are on their way to the cemetery. Right here is where the movie splits off continuity, and at first I feel like it is being creative, changing the plot slightly, going for a different feel. It certainly feels different. They are not visiting a grave but attending a funeral and it is not their father or their mother who as died this time, but their aunt. No one is around and Johnny jokes with Barb, the zombie’s attack Johnny drives off (asshole) and Barb runs away.

She does not find the farmhouse that was relatively close by in the other films but finds the funeral home/morgue where off course there are more zombies. I will say one good thing about the movie: the zombies are fast, and the makeup is decent and by that, I mean it does not look like I did as a zombie for Halloween. So I give points to the movie for having realistic zombies (as realistic as it could get anyway). The fact that they are slow zombies means that the creators have some decency and attraction to Romero and right now, all the points for this movie are riding on the zombies.

She meets the cemetery caretaker/funeral home director played by Sid Haig (remember that name it will come up again in another review). He tells her to run and she does. At first, I thought this would be Ben because he seems to be a little badass and he saves Barb. But it isn’t Ben. She runs and walks down a road, as it gets darker out. She texts Johnny to inform him he is a terrible brother and to come back for her. Eventually she gets a text saying, “I’m coming for you Barb”, a reference to the quote “They’re coming to get you Barbara, they’re coming for you”. I am also okay with this reference and it gives the movie a few points.

While reading the text zombies come out of nowhere and attack her and her phone. A guy on a motorcycle shows up and thanks to bad editing, punches a zombie out of the way. Guess who this is. Go on guess. Guess who this thin young white guy on a motorcycle is. Nope, it is not Tom, try again. IT’S BEN. THEY MADE BEN FUCKING WHITE! Well, I guess they had to so that no one will confuse this movie for having symbolism. In fact, there is not one black person in the whole movie. I don’t think there is even a black zombie. I may be mistaken about this, so correct me if I am wrong.

White Ben turns out to be friends with a family, the Coopers, who own a farmhouse down the road. Well now, it makes sense that he is not black: there is now way the white hick would be friends with him if he were not white! This movie is racist! Also, Ben and Harry are friend!? Furthermore, they own the farmhouse. In the 68 version, we find the house with the owner dead so we never know who she is, in the 90 version it is the house of Tom’s uncle. Now it is the Cooper family’s house. I am ok with this a bit, because the movie is being creative with the original idea. I think it is stupid but I respect it. Actually, I do not think that is stupid, what I really think is stupid is that technically Tom still does in away own the house. Tom is the Coopers fucking son. This just seems lazy and here is why; the movie made everyone related and friends so that no real character explanations have to go on. There is a reason why the movie has no time for character development because we need to watch Tom fuck Judy in the barn!

There are several continuity errors involving Barb and her footwear. In the original she lost her shoes, in this one she cannot make up her mind if she lost them, changed them, took them off, also this movie suffers from a severe case of “off-screen disease”, not only because of the shoes thing but also because of Harry’s bandage appears out of nowhere.

The affects are lacking as well. Judy is naked but her downstairs is clearly a prosthetic so she does not have to show us her real vagina. You are already naked and we see everything else! I don’t see why you care if people see the rest, they are going to think you are fully naked and exposed anyway…or they would if the prosthetic wasn’t so obvious.

The Cooper’s are also potheads and pot growers, which is why they never call the police, and Karen is watching, yep, the original Night of the Living Dead in the living room. Um…Karen, are you that oblivious? You really don’t notice any similarities to the movie and your OWN FUCKING LIFE!? It is okay; Karen always dies and ends up biting her dad. This part they did keep the same. However, there is a high as a kite character in the house that apparently a hired hand for the farm. He is bit and we watch what happens. Want to know what happens? This movie turns into Return of the Living Dead all of a sudden. Let me explain...well first let me tell you what happens after he is bit because the movie tells us why there are zombies. Haig comes in to explain what is going on. Apparently, his dad ran the business better and he never wanted to do this job. He made money by taking stuff from people to burn in the crematorium, like illegal stuff: bio-hazardous medical waste, military chemical weapon stuff, and radioactive stuff. Nevertheless, he never burned any of it. He also never burnt any of the bodies that were meant to be cremated because he has a fear of fire. All that shit leaked out and onto the bodies and they became zombies. He then tells us that anyone bite will die and become one but the ones that are bit do not become zombies right away, they act as if they are still alive. Sound familiar?

Everyone dies except Barb, Tovar (Haig), and Ben. Turns out, Tovar is crazy and this phenomenon has driven him mad with divine power over life and death, he wants to kill everyone so they can come back as zombies and live forever. I am not sure he understands what it means to be a zombie, especially in this universe. Tovar has kept his dad alive and feeds him his blood. He does this by cutting himself and letting his dad suck it out of the wound. THIS SHOULD CAUSE HIM TO BECOME INFECTED AND TURN INTO A ZOMBIE! Also these zombies are somewhat sentient as Johnny and Barb’s mom turn up as zombies walking together.

The movie ends with that whole “or-is-it” feel and Barb lives just like in the 90 remake.

So what is the rating? I can see how the movie could be viewed as fun and entertaining and it is certainly watchable. However, if it is on purpose, was everything on purpose? The acting was not that great. It was not as bad as Flesh Eater, but it was still bad. The affects were ok but at times, they were just dumb the movie is a cop-out to Romero and though it is parody, it also feels like one of those cheap rip-offs. As a remake of a Romero I would give this movie a 1 out of 5 stars, but since I am reviewing it as a zombie movie in general, I give it 1 ½ out of 5 stars.

Zombie Movie Review (22) of the Day: Robert Rodriquez presents: Planet Terror

I’m going to eat your brains…and steal your knowledge”

Planet Terror. I could say so much about this movie. Let me start by saying it is fantastic. Planet Terror is the first part to a project from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino called Grindhouse—a double-feature exploitation film is designed to emulate the film culture of the 70’s and late 80’s. Planet Terror is the one written by Rodriquez.

The film is done with a 70’s film quality feel complete with projector style film, starches and missing reels. The movie is action packed, has a great cast, pretty good affects, and this is why I’m nervous and hesitant to do a review on this movie. I feel that mine will not hold up against the many reviews on this movie already. It was a cult classic overnight. Rodriquez is most famous for his film based off the comic Sin City. In fact, many of the actors from Sin City are in Planet Terror.

I will get to the plot later but first I want to talk about the movie. Rodriquez is also famous for From Dusk Till Dawn, which starred the great Tom Savini, and Savini actually plays one of the cops in Planet Terror. Knowing that he has worked with Rodriguez before makes it less interesting that he is in yet another zombie movie, especially since Greg Nicotero did the makeup for Planet Terror. I’m going to go ahead and assume that Savini helped out too because, I know Nicotero can stand on his own but the affects were so far out there and over the top that it has to be a double play with Nicotero and Savini working side by side again. I love the affects in this movie. There is a lot of CGI, and as you, all know I am not a big fan of CGI affects. However, this movie is supposed to be cheesy as they are going for the grunge 70’s B-movie feel. They certainly did not want the movie to suck like a B-Movie even though if it sucked on purpose, that would be awesome, but they wanted it to be more of a tribute to the films they grew up with.  Back to the affects, they are gross, disturbing, cool, and effective. This movie really has it all.

Rodriquez also wrote the main theme to the movie emulating the style of the great John Carpenter known for composing the scores to his movies most famously Halloween and The Thing (I recommend you watch both, but I prefer The Thing myself). Also, on the subject of Rodriguez, he also has his kid play the boy in the movie called Tony. I think this is great, not just; that he used his own son, like Hinzman in Flesh Eater used his own daughter, but that he calls him Tony and gives him that look that even he comments on. He talks about how in all the old horror movies that have a young boy character they all have that “same bowl haircut”. This is true and in fact, Rebel (Rodriquez’s son) looks just like Danny from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. The best part about this is there is more of a connection than you think, the boy in Planet Terror is named Tony, which is the same name of the boy that lived in Danny’s mouth (the psychic entity that protected Danny). Also,like Hinzman's daugher, Tony is killed in the film. This is actually interesting because Rodriquez didn't want to scar Rebel by telling him he died in the movie so he filmed an alternate version where he makes it to the end. His death is meant to be a little funny, slightly ironic and message centered. I'm not going to give it away even though I feel like most of you ahve seen it.

There are so many stunts that go flawlessly and I do not really need to talk about them, all you really need to do is see the trailer to understand them.

Moving on: the zombies. Now…at first I was not entirely convinced these things are zombies and to an extent, I am still not convinced, even imdb refers to them as zombie like creatures but after watching it again and reviewing the special features on the DVD, I have determined they are technically zombies, just a special kind. They are dead so they fit the minimum criteria, and they do attack, bite, eat and try to kill the people not infected, so they fit even more criteria. If you are not convinced they are dead, there is even a scene where the doctors talk about how the bodies just got up and walked away. I should talk about these zombies however, so I guess I should get into plot territory now. These zombies are not viral, bacterial, and radioactive; rather, they take the Return of the Living Dead approach: chemical. The chemical in question? DC2. Now DC2 is different from what we have seen in zombies so far, DC2 was used in the War on Terrorism and that is how it all began. DC2 is a cross between 245 Trioxin and the T-Virus. Like the T-Virus, DC2 mutates the people exposed to it. Part of the population is immune to all forms of it i.e. gas, bite, blood, etc. The bites are necrotic in nature and the chemical reaction spreads fast. It mutates the individual into a pus filled, boil and sore covered zombie freak. However, there is a cure—well a temporary cure: if you have been exposed it DC2 you can offset the negative effects by breathing in concentrated, regulated doses of the stuff, which is why the soldier are looking for it.

The story follows a go-go dancer who we meet in the opening credits. The opening credits in House of the Dead: Overkill are so similar to the opening credits of Planet Terror that you know they are satirizing it. Cherry, the dancer used to date the main hero of the movie called Wray. The only thing we find out about him is that he has had black ops training and is very skilled. During the scene where we are supposed to find out who is really is, the scene is missing (artistically so). The other characters are a married couple of doctors, the guy being very abusive and scary and the girl being a lesbian who is having her girlfriend (played by Fergie) come to get Tony that night and the three of them were going to run away together. However, the girlfriend’s car breaks down, she is attacked by zombies, and her brain is eaten. Cherry meanwhile gets her leg eaten off but that is shown in the trailer. A few other essential characters are the lesbian doctor’s father is like a Texas Ranger, and two other characters who are brothers: one JT who is obsessed with making the best barbecue in Texas, the other the sheriff who wants the secret recipe. A few lesser characters are fun. One is played by Rodriquez’s real estate agent, he plays the owner of the go-go club, and the other is a real life doctor who plays himself in all the Grindhouse movies. In addition, there is the scientist played by Sayid from Lost. And of course Bruce Willis as the asshole DC2 infected soldier.

There is barely any plot left to discuss after going into the characters without giving anything away. Many action sequences, violence galore, romance, a fantastic ending, and an attempted rape scene where Rodriquez and Taratino play the would be rapists. Even though it is an exploitation film, the girls kick as much ass, if not more than the guys.

So what do I think of Planet Terror? I think that is clear. There in not one thing wrong with the movie in my opinion. In fact, I give it 4 2/3 out of 5 stars.

I could go on and on about the movie, but this is one of the times where the film speaks for itself. I also don’t want to give away more spoilers than I already have on top of what the trailer gives away. If you really want more there is always Wikipedia.

Zombie Movie Review (21) of the Day: Beyond Re-Animator

Today I end the Re-Animator trilogy with Beyond Re-Animator. Again, there is not really that much to say about the movie. I will say it again: I wish I could do video reviews. I could make all of these funny, insightful, long, entertaining, and eventually I would be noticed and start making money off the reviews as well! Sadly, I lack the tech to do such videos so for now I give you my humble readable reviews. Because it has no real, redeeming value and is, more of a fun camp film and because I do not have as much to say, I will be giving away SPOILERS.

Beyond opens with continuity errors. At the end of Bride, both West and Cain are seemingly buried alive under rocks after the mortuary next to West’s lab caves in. One assumes that both of them are dead, but it turns out they both survived. I know that at the end of Reanimator, it is implied that West died but it still had that 1950’s B-movie feel of the “What If?” ending and we don’t actually see West die, we only see him an a seemingly inescapable predicament. At the end of Bride, however, there really is no way they could have survived, so like with Dr. Hill’s head not being squashed, so too are the deaths of West and Cain retcond. Cain is not in Beyond but it is mentioned he is alive.

The movie opens up the same night that Bride ended. We see some kids having a camp-out in their backyard. The year is 1990 (the year Bride of Re-Animator came out). One of the boys is telling the other ghost stories to make the movie ironic. When the boy who lives there goes into the house, in a few minutes, his older sister is attacked by one of West’s zombies. West meanwhile is trying to undo the evil he has created because as has always been implied, West is not evil, just misguided, obsessed with his work, arrogant, pretentious, and seems compelled to do the things he does as if he cannot help himself sometimes. He ends up being arrested that night and drops the syringe of re-agent, which the boy whose sister was killed picks up. He is sent to prison with the help of Cain’s testament against him because apparently after everything, finally Cain snaps back to sanity. The movie then flash-forward’s to thirteen years later (2003, the year Beyond Re-Animator came out). The good doctor is up to his old experiments with the little resources he has trying to figure out why his experiments in the past always went wrong. He figures out that life is not only chemical as he previously speculated but also electrical. He discovers the NPE or Nano-Plasmic Energy which is basically the soul, spirit, life force, chi`, Ruach, etc. West however thinks that it is not a personal thing and can be transferred body to body. The new doctor at the prison happens to be the boy from early whose sister was killed and for some reason, rather than blaming West for killing his sister and hating him, he is fascinated by him and his work and wants to take Cain’s old place by West’s side. With the help of the doctor, Howard, West gets all the necessary components of his perfect re-agent that he had been working on since we first met him. The experiments go as well as they always have. Things get messy again when another love interest enters the picture, a reporter who is reporting on the prisons condition to let the public know how crappy it is. The Warden is a creeper in every sense of the word and when trying to rape her and manipulate her fails, he kills her and tells the guards it was the prisoner who he had already beaten almost to death (although there is no danger of him dying as he was already dead) who killed her. Howard, like Cain, in agony over his lost love lets West conduct his experiment and he ends up giving her the NPE from the Warden who west killed (I told you West is a hero) and tings get weird.

At first it does not seem like it is going to work but then she seems perfectly normal; however, since it was not her own NPE things get fucked-up. She doesn’t start acting like the warden per se…well she sort of does for a bit, but she more acts like a insane demon and now seems to suffer from DID (Disassociated Identity Disorder, previously known as multiple personality disorder). The prisoners break out of their cells, West brings back the Warden because like I said he can’t help himself, and gives him a rats NPE and he does begin to act like a rat and mutate a bit but he still has his old personality. The reporter runs away from prisoners who want to rape her and when they catch her she turns into psycho-bitch and horribly kills them all, meanwhile the Warden is going around, after he stole the re-agent from West after knocking him out (sound a little like the first film?) reanimating all the dead prisoners because he takes his job seriously and wants order. There is a lot of crazy ogre and affects that seem like something out of Evil Dead and Evil Dead (version) II. In the end West escapes pretending to be Dr. Howard and Howard meanwhile is thought to be a prisoner because he killed the reporter after she begged him to before she went all demon again (more reference to Evil Dead) and he is put in an asylum. Now I do not really like this ending because it is kind of upsetting.

However, the movie over-all is not bad. It is fun, campy, has several very comedic moments, and is quite disturbing at times. In addition, the film is definitely watchable and so I cannot give it too bad of a rating. That is the problem when you have seen many shitty zombie movies, you want to be more generous to the not so good ones because at least they do not suck that bad. As a fun film though it is ok and so I give Beyond Re-Animator 2 ¾ out of 5 stars. Bear in mind that when I do reviews of movies that are not zombie themed, my ratings will be a lot more subjective and objective rather than generous and will run on a different scale than the zombie movies.

Zombie Movie Review (20) of the Day: Bride of Re-Animator

(In memory of David Gale [Dr. Carl Hill] 1936-1991)

So the sequel to Reanimator is of course Bride of Reanimator. Bride is just like another film with the same title: Bride of Frankenstein. Same premise except the female body it created by the Reanimator, Herbert West but is actually meant to be the “bride” of Dan Cain. It also could be said to have taken some elements from the movie Pieces (http://thecinemasnob.com/2011/05/25/pieces.aspx), of course, you could say the Frankenstein theme also inspired Pieces.

This film starts out with West and Cain fighting in the Peruvian Civil War. The original story is talking about a war in Africa. The point is though; the second movie brings in more elements from the short story. This is where West, working with the biology of certain reptiles, begins to perfect his Re-agent. Cain is still depressed about the death of his girlfriend (this is not a spoiler because I always assume you read the review about the first movie and see that movie before reading the sequel review, if you do not it is not my problem). Herbert finds her heart in the storage in the mortuary at the hospital from the last film where they are both now employed, going off to be doctors in the war after they graduated. West is on to new experiments and seems more science for sciences sake driven than in the last film where it was all for the greater good. In a way, he seems like Albert Wesker from the Resident Evil games—not movies, which is obsessed with science, and has no morals. Wait a moment…could it be that Albert Wesker is loosely based on Herbert West? Think about their names. Both their first names end in Bert and their last names both start with Wes. Hmm…I wonder.

As you can probably guess, West is making a woman out of various parts from female bodies taken from the morgue. He seems to be manipulating Cain a bit more than usually to get him to help. I do believe he genuinely cares about Cain as a friend and that is why he pushes him—without Cain, West has no friends or family and even worse (in his mind) no one on his side, no one that understands his work and his good intentioned goal.

This movie also gives us some fun stop-and-go claymation effects with West’s little morbid experiments. Things get heated when a detective shows up (who is also in the short-story) and starts snooping around the old funeral home West and Cain now live in adjacent to a cemetery (also in the short-story). Things get even worse when one of the most obvious continuity errors attacks: Dr. Hill is still alive. In the previous movie, he was decapitated, his head and body reanimated, his body destroyed, and then his head crushed. The part where his head is crushed was retcond and now he only is a head seeking revenge.

Cain also gets a new love interest and once again, West sees it only as a distraction.

There is a reference in the movie to another Lovecraft story when West suggests the sounds they are hearing are probably just rats in the wall, which is the title of Lovecraft’s story Rats in the Walls.

The end of the movie is great. The ending (as well as the whole film, but especially the ending) has that old 50’s sci-fi B-movie feel to it as well as early 80’s camp and gore. It is a decent film, nowhere near as great as the first but still fun. In addition, I really do love this ending. It is full of deep emotions and it has elements from the short story.

I give Bride of Reanimator 2.75 out of 5 stars.

Zombie Movie Review (19) of the Day H. P Lovecraft's Reanimator

“Birth is always painful”

(In Memory of David Gale [Dr. Carl Hill] 1936-1991)

1985 was a good year for zombie films. Romero released the final chapter in his original trilogy, Russo put out Return of the Living Dead that would spawn four sequels over the next twenty years, and the cult classic H. P. Lovecraft’s Reanimator came out which would also be the beginning of a trilogy. In truth, I saw the third installment, Beyond Reanimator on FEARnet years before I would see Reanimator. I love this film for so many reasons and if there was ever a B-movie to be put on a pedestal at the same level of Romero’s films. I highly recommend reading H. P. Lovecraft’s short story before seeing the film. You can read it here: http://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/hwr.asp

To begin with, this is based off an H. P. Lovecraft story, which is fantastic in itself. There is so much I want to say about this film and I just hope to remember it all. The movie was created by Stuart Gordon who previously had only done theatre work and had created his own theatre company called the Organic Theater. In fact, all the actors were primarily theatre actors, which gave the film a very nice touch. Because they were all used to theatre, Gordon had them to rehearsals the whole week before shooting started. Now typically, movies do not have rehearsals but it worked well. Originally, Gordon wanted to do the piece as a miniseries with half an hour on each chapter of the short story that was very true to the story, set in the right time and all that. However, no one would pick it up so Gordon went on to make it a modern movie. Most times this is the only critique people have of the film: it is not true to the original story. However, I still love it and it is true enough. The only thing that really matters is Herbert West (the Reanimator) and Jeffery Combs nailed it! He is such a brilliant actor and a fantastical character actor. Everything I have ever seen him in (or heard when he does voice over’s) he is wonderful. One of my favorite films of his (aside from this one) is The Frighteners, which I highly recommend. Jeffrey Combs is Herbert West in the movie.

The opening credit sequence is another fun thing. The pictures are all neon colored illustrations from Grey’s Anatomy and the music, by Richard Band, was a tribute to that music of Bernard Hermann’s score for Psycho.

The plot of the movie is the same as that of the short story. The story is told by Dan Cain and the movie also follows Cain rather than West. West is a brilliant young medical student who dabbles in experiments of a Frankensteinian nature. His intentions are pure but he is a bit pretentious, arrogant, and his morals are off-kilter to those of accepted society. In the story West is more of an anti-hero, not a villain per se but someone who you do not like but sympathize with. In the movie, is the flat out protagonist and at the very least, the lesser of two evils as we discover the real villain is someone else. You will not see me giving away any spoilers in this review. The movie also added in a love interest for Cain, which is also not common with Lovecraft. His stories never really have any female roles and for those of who have read any Lovecraft you know that Lovecraft hates humanity.

The movie is scary, gross, and at times a bit disturbing but it also has some comedic moments as well. My favorite part comedic part is when we find out that the villain has bags of his blood type stored in the fridge in his office for just certain occasions like the one the movie presents us with.

What else can I say? The stuff they used for the Re-agent is actually the stuff in glow sticks, they just cut a bunch open and poured the stuff into the bottles West has.

There really is not much to say about the plot because it is very straightforward and it is a splatter flick so there is not a lot going on. There is the ethical question of “what would you do?” which gives the film more redeeming value.

Even though you would think that when it was first released there would be many critics damning it for so much gore and such a high gross factor when in fact, almost all the reviews were in favor of the film. It even won several awards: Stiges Catalonian Film Festival in 1985 for Best Film went to Gordon, Fantafestival in 1986 was awarded both Best Film (Gordon) and Best Special Effects (Anthony Doublin), and Avoriaz Fantastic Film Festival in 1986 for a Special Mention for Horror (Gordon).

The film has so many good qualities. The chemistry between the actors is fantastic; the acting quality is high (especially for a B cult movie) thanks to their theatre approach. The effects are old gags but so convincing, the story is fun and interesting. Everyone who worked on the film is amazing and knew what they were doing. I really have not one complaint about this film

I know they are not typical zombies but they are dead, most have lost most if not all of their humanity, intelligence, personality, and memories, and they are violent and will take a bite out of you. Yes you can kill them anyway you like but they are still zombies in my eyes. The story came out after Frankenstein but way before Romero and so I have no problem calling them zombies

I therefore give Reanimator 4 1/3 stars out of 5.

Zombie Movie Review (18) of the Day: Resident Evil 4: Afterlife 3D

I know I am doing three reviews today in a category that does review a day at a time but I am catching up, so sue me.

I’d like to start out by congratulating Milla Jovovich (Alice) and Paul W. S. Anderson (director) finally getting married. Yep, that is right. The star of the RE films and the director of the RE films. They got married about a year before the fourth film was released and that is what this review is about. Can I just say though, that in practically every single movie Jovovich has ever been in, that the audience always gets to see a little something something? I mean her breasts are in pretty much every film. Not that I’m complaining I love Jovovich, she is a fantastic actor, I can see why she is a model, and from the music I’ve heard of hers, her singing is great too ( to check out more visit http://www.millaj.com/) I just bring it up because it makes me laugh and smile a bit that the man that loves her has her nude in almost all the films (except this one, the only one so far they have done after being married….could be just a red herring) he has done with her. I mean I think it is great, be proud of your body but on the other hand it makes me think Anderson is saying, “Yep, that’s my girlfriend (well now wife)”. Kind of like how Brad Jones (Cinema Snob) is always showing off his wife’s “rack” (his word, not mine). I got nothing against it. And Brad, if you’re reading this, you know more than anyone that people poke fun at the things they really love. Furthermore, Jovovich said herself in an article in Hustler magazine that she loves that she "is the wet dream of nerds everywhere" And to be fair anderson does like having strong female leads which i think is great.

Anyway, it is review time. I do not usually start a review with nit picking but apparently, some plot from the previous film has been retcond leading to some continuity holes. Now, if you are like me and saw Extinction on DVD when it came out and maybe on cable once or twice and then saw Afterlife in the theater, you probably were not aware of this problem. It is a small problem but a problem nonetheless. At the end of Extinction Alice makes the treat to Wesker that she and all her clones are coming to tear down his evil empire and indeed, in the opening of Afterlife, they do. However, also at the end of Extinction, it is implied that Alice, with the help of the White Queen, was going to synthesize an antidote to the T-Virus, a cure that could have repaired the world and rid it of the undead, but apparently, this never happened. Like I said, small problem.

SPOILER ALERT! Once Alice destroys the Umbrella labs in Tokyo, she goes after Wesker who injects her with the anti-virus meaning all her special powers (healing, agility, super strength, and psychic abilities) are all gone. Now, at first it is clear it is working and I do realize she had commando training before the shit hit the fan, but throughout the rest of the movie, it seems like her body was so strong and her DNA so perfectly matched with the T-Virus, that it fought back and came back after the anti-virus had done its thing. That is just me.

So she then goes to Alaska to find Claire and the other survivors, turns out even that was a trap set by Umbrella. We also find out that the sanctuary was a boat, not a town.

Alice meets up with another group of survivors who for the last five years have been living in a prison. This sort of makes sense, I mean it is a secure facility but I’m not sure I believe there was enough food in there. I am going to assume the army left some rations as they did in the mall in Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. Turns out the military was in fact using the prison as a strong hold. We find this out when we meet Claire’s brother Chris Redfield, another character from the game. His back-story has been changed a bit. In the game, he was a “Class A” S.T.A.R.S member who Claire was trying to find. In the movie, he is sort of the same thing: National Guard.

The rest of the movie involves people dying while the group tries to get onto the boat where they believe all the other survivors must be. Obviously I am skipping a great deal of details but I figure if I explain the whole movie A) I’ll bore you with a very long review and B) You won’t need to see the movie since I told you everything that happens. This movie has some suped up mutant zombies, the kind found in RE 5 the game. Also from RE 5, is the Executioner. He is the mutant villain in this movie, the Umbrella villain being of course Wesker.

They get onto the boat and end up fighting Wesker. The thing you should watch for is a scene during the credits. Jill Valentine is back and under Umbrella brainwashing tech control. I am not sure what happened to her after Apocalypse or the girl for that matter. I assumed Jill would have stuck with Carlos and LJ but I guess she went off to do her own thing. At least Extinction tells us why Alice left the group (obviously, she fell in with them again). I assume the girl is dead. We know she had something like polio and that the T-Virus kept in check, made her healthy. Without access to the T-Virus and antivirus, she would be fucked. If the last thing she took was the virus, she would eventually die and become a zombie or possibly not die and become a mutant. If the last thing she took was the antivirus, eventually she would start to get week and not be able to walk thus becoming a liability. I know it sounds harsh but she would have gotten everyone killed. I love Jill in the games and the movie.

Resident Evil 5: Retribution comes out September 14^th, 2012. You know I will be in the theater that day.

This film’s CGI was at times crappy. Even the hordes of zombies were CGI. Speaking of zombies, there was little zombie action at all in this movie. At least Extinction had that going for it. Afterlife is more about Umbrella and Wesker (and the Executioner who takes up a chunk of time in the movie) than about the zombies, but it is still a zombie movie. Like I said in the Extinction review, I am not really a fan of the whole 3D craze and some of the scenes that used it sucked but others were fairly good. I give Afterlife 2 ¾ stars out of 5

Zombie Movie Review (17) of the Day: Resident Evil 3: Extinction

Again, I am doing two reviews in one day. Reason? Like I said in my review from this morning, it has been a very hectic week and I could not keep up with it. However, I have some free time today. So, here I am, reviewing Resident Evil 3: Extinction.

Like RE-2, there is not much to say about this movie (or the fourth one for that matter).  Can I still review it though? Of course, I can. I would much rather do reviews with video in the style of the Cinema Snob and Obscurous Lupa but sadly I only have an integrated webcam and no editing/splicing software. If I could do reviews like that, I would have such a ball! I could easily make the reviews last at least 10 minutes. If you notice, I do emulate Snob and Lupa somewhat in my reviews. And now for something completely different:

Resident Evil Extinction, at the time was considered the worst out of the movies; however, it now has to compete with Resident Evil 4: Afterlife. I myself am not sure which is worse. I would like to say 4 but that is only because I am not into the 3D camera style filming or the massive amounts of obvious CGI. I will determine, however, which is worse by the end of the Afterlife review.

Why is Extinction so bad? Well it does not live up to the action and plot of the last two movies. I suppose it is more related to people’s expectations being let down. It had been awhile since a Resident Evil movie so fans were excited more than hesitant, myself included. So it really is not the movie’s fault, it was just never given a chance.

The director of the RE films, Paul W. S. Anderson, is also not to blame. As directors go, he is fairly decent and uses a lot of creative ideas in his films. For example, with RE Extinction, as a kid he was a huge fan of the Mad Max films. Since Extinction is a post-apocalyptic movie, he wanted introduce those films to the next generation and hope that they would go back and watch the Mad Max films. This can be seen in Extinction with the armored convoy traversing thru the desert wasteland that was once America. It is clearly a love letter to the Mad Max series.

The film also has various parallels with Romero’s Day of the Dead. Like Day of the Dead, RE Extinction takes place after the world has been taken over by the dead. There is a scene in RE Extinction that is a mirror of a scene from Day involving Dr. Logan showing Bub objects for him to remember how to use. Both scenes include a phone. If you would like to see how they compare see the links below (the day of the dead video is a little longer than it needs to be, you can skip to 2 minutes in if you want) Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So3wvWZ8EvM Extinction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72TSR1n9xG8

The movie also brings back the Hive, well, the Hive II. It even has an upgraded Red Queen i.e., the White Queen. This is one thing fans did like; the movie brought back some elements from the first as well as second film creating a good deal of solid continuity and fun. For example, the lab technology in the Hive is a combination of the technology seen in the Hive from RE and the technology in the Detroit Umbrella Lab at the end of RE: Apocalypse but at the same time making it look new and different. The Hive II is also a reference to Day of the Dead as the whole film is in an underground research bunker.

RE Extinction also brings in some new characters, one of which is another from the games, Claire Redfield. The movie’s outfit for her is not as accurate as Jill’s was but the fans were still happy that another character from the games was included. The movie also finally introducing Albert Wesker although the actor does not do a good job of portraying him properly. Fear not though, the actor who plays him in the fourth installment, Resident Evil: Afterlife does a much better job.

The movie has some fun scenes with lots of zombie killing action and Alice gets to show off her badass powers. Now I am usually against fast moving zombies, and this movie features a few of those but they do not bother me. For one thing, there is an explanation for them being so fast and strong: they have been given more T-Virus that has been altered and thus has mutated them. Remember that the T-Virus’ sole purpose is to reanimate dead cells and if a corpse is pumped with enough of it, there should be less fear of ankles and tendons snapping since the T-Virus is preventing rot.

A few likable characters die and one of them has a very nice martyr death scene. Alice then has to part from the group who are heading for Alaska where there is apparently no infection, to continue her personal, but warranted, vendetta against the Umbrella Corporation. The Whit Queen helps her to take down the Mutant villain which is the Tyrant type from the game who is (SPOILER ALERT!) also previously in the movie, the Umbrella villain, Dr. Isaacs, like the Nazi before, he seems to have Nazi ideas like having no morals and doing horrible torturous experiments in the name of science just like Mussolini. Since this is obvious and really isn’t a spoiler, Alice is of course triumphant (with some help) and so she is free to keep her deal with the White Queen to use her blood to make an antidote for the T-Virus which would kill all the zombies if sprayed like crop dusting and would not only fight infection like the Anti-T-Virus does but also inoculate and prevent infection in the first place.

I guess Resident Evil 3: Extinction is not that bad and in the end, mostly because of the nods to Romero, I give it 3 out of 5 stars.

Zombie Movie Review (16) of the Day: Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse

“S.T.A.R.S…….”

Sorry I have not done one of these in awhile, it has been a hectic week. But I am back, Today I am doing of course, Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse.

This is my favorite of the series and fights for the position of best in the series with the first movie. The movie picks up right where the first one left off. Alice is reprising her role as Leeloo from the Fifth Element. I’m kidding of course but if you look at Resident Evil 1 and 2 as one film, which, they kind of are as they take place immediately after one another like John Carpenter’s Halloween and Halloween Part 2, it makes sense. Alice is a girl who when we are first introduced to her, she has lost her memory, as she begins to gain it back, she realizes she is a strong fighting force—a highly skilled combative soldier. Then we find out she is super-human, fully evolved human, essentially the perfect being. In The Fifth Element, when the perfect being is first seen, she is disorientated and is not sure where she is, who she is, or what is going on and she is a weapon. To quote Uncle Buck (one of the greatest 80’s movies of all time) “Is there a little similarity? Whoa, I think there is!”

But enough about that, I’m here to talk about RE: Apocalypse. The movie takes place in Raccoon City and we finally meet some characters who are actually in the game, S.T.A.R.S operative (Special Tactics and Rescue Squad) Jill Valentine, and Umbrella soldier Carlos Olivera. We also meet Project Nemesis who I have to say, is my favorite boss villain in the game series (Resident Evil 3) and in the movies. He is big but not huge, a badass, and he has all of him intelligence, just not all of his memories. If you recall, Matt from RE is now Nemesis.

There really is not that much to say about the movie. Maybe my heart is not in it right now or something. I know it’s my favorite but one of the reasons for that is it’s the second zombie movie I ever saw, the third being Shaun of the Dead. There was more to say about RE because it was the first in the series so I had to give back-story.

The movie is fun overall, and has a few things going for it. The CGI is much better in this one than in the last, it is action filled, it has a group of zombie kids who slowly eat one of the group members (I will not say who it is…spoilers and all that), and the acting is quite good. Jill and Carlos are very convincing and stay true to their game counterpart’s personalities. Furthermore, Jill’s outfit is a dead ringer for the games. The movie gives some cameo scenes lifted right from the first few games as well. The message about corporations is even stronger. Every movie has an Umbrella villain in a way, and a Mutant villain. Nemesis is this movies mutant. The Umbrella villain is Major Cain who is pretty much an allegory for Nazism. He seems to have no real ethics, his morality is warped, he is in fact German, and he only cares about evolution and what Nietzsche also German but certainly not a Nazi) called the Uber-man (the super man). The movie does have redeeming messages. There is also the comic relief LJ, who is actually funny.

We also get to meet the girl the Red Queen (Umbrella villain from RE) was based on. This is where the movie really deviates from game continuity. The Ashford’s in the game are completely insane their grandfather founded the Umbrella Corporation back in the day. They are also incestuous, creepy and have architects build strange things in their mansion. In the movie, there is not mention of the grandfather and the girl’s dad seems to take that roll but rather than founding the company, he created the T-Virus to help his daughter with what seems to be polio, which he has as well.

What else can I say about the movie? Well there are even more nods and ‘thank-yous’ to Romero. At the end of RE (which is also the beginning of RE 2) there is a newspaper floating around that has the headline of “THE DEAD WALK!” which was featured in Day of the Dead. The zombies are still Romero zombie (except for the dogs but they always ran in the games anyway), and there is even a nod and a wink to Russo’s Return series. When the group is walking thru a graveyard, the T-Virus reaches its highest level of infection causing the corpses in the graves to come back to life. In this scene, we have the rotten, dug-up zombies we have only really ever seen mainstreamed in the Return series. In addition, there is a song on the soundtrack called Nympetamine by Cradle of Filth (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dW6aNAZGTM) and if you listen closely, you will notice the tune is from the main theme by Goblin from Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Xw_7BUXic), so that in itself is another tribute to the master. This is a common theme with Cradle of Filth—they take scores from old horror movies and use them for the background tune in their songs. For another example you can check out this video, which ironically enough, uses clips from RE: Apocalypse and music that emulates John Carpenter’s Halloween theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hwto24MjB3M

The movie also revolutionized the character of a zombie. What I mean is that as great as Romero movies are, the zombies are all cliché zombies. They all walk like they are still in rigor mortis, have a limb, etc. In Return the zombies were rotting apart so had some interesting movement. What RE Apocalypse did was create the “liquid zombie”. This zombie is that where all the muscles are limp and the zombies is constantly falling over itself. It sounds like it is funnier but is actually on screen is a bit more scary and realistic. Romero actually picked this up in his later films such as Diary and Survival.

I only have one more critique: for those who have played the game and live in Canada, you will know that this is not Raccoon City. The main building where one of the final scenes takes place is Toronto City Hall.

Again, the movie really does have an allegory of "Big Brother" from 1984 feel to it with the Umbrella Corporation being Big Brother looming over us. This message is furthered pursued in the sequels that follow.

The movie is fun overall and I definitely recommend it. It is fun, action-packed, has good messages, and can be slightly scary from time to time. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.